New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
