Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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