I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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