He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
