Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Randomize
