Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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