...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I just googled if crying burns calories
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
