Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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