The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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