Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
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