New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
