To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
