YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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