I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Slut skills are useful in every country.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You're like the curious george of whores
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
