What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
