i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
