Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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