did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
