cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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