I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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