i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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