I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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