and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
