I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
