blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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