my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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