Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
