Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
