I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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