you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
