I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
