Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(818): View more from California

I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy

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(281): View more from Texas

i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets

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(336): View more from North Carolina

A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.

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(847): View more from Illinois

At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.

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(870): View more from Arkansas

Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth

(1-870): View more from Arkansas

I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come

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(320): View more from Minnesota

There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids

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