I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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