But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
