I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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