I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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