my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
