I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
