I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
