let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
