Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
You're completely useless in the revolution.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
