it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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