I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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