I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
