Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
That was before I lit my hair on fire
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
Randomize
