awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
