Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
