Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
