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some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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