So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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